Baltimore has crabby Christmases. John Waters calls Baltimore home. Oprah started on TV in that state. Barry Levinson’s “Diner” is wherever that place has Fell’s Point. Every year locals sing the dumb-ass song “Crabs for Christmas.” I don’t know why. I don’t care either. Amazon does a book called “I Gave Baltimore Crabs for Christmas.”
Clearly they have a different sense of humor down there.
David DeBoy, who wrote and recorded this thing 40 years ago, says, “It’s a local classic. Sold thousands of copies. Baltimoreans do hundreds of crabby concerts. I even come dressed as Crabby Claus.”
Wow! Yeah! Great! Can’t imagine how I missed my invitation.
Santa’s really busy. In Macy’s a sign at his feet says, “Two knees. No waiting” .?.?. A thought. So much designer hair surrounding his mouth our DA can’t even speak to jail criminals. On NY1, he said “particular” as “pahticklar.” An official who can’t speak English — great!! New motto: gag Bragg.
GALLAGHERS. Mike Pence just there with 10 gents. Matthew Broderick — late dinner. Table 31, Bryan Cranston. Brenda Vaccaro at Table 10. Me in a lounge with Australia’s Anthony Pratt where I had steak and lost an earring. Gallaghers is open seven days and nights — will someone please find my gold earring.
BRAD Wells’ 60-acre Fairview Tree Farm grows many of our area’s holiday trees: “Family run business. 1842, our great-great-grandfather began the farm which, for winter income, began raising trees.
“For the holiday, Fraser fir, Douglas fir or balsam’s best and can stay at home five weeks. Planting window is late March. Now it’s expensive because labor costs are higher and delivery diesel fuel went from $2 to $7.”
What about the Rock Center tree?
“Usually Norway spruce, which grows 90 feet and gets transported with its branches tied upward.”
COMES now Citi Field’s Amaze Light Festival. Says its official communications director Courtney Kotloski: “Guides are characters Zing and Sparky. Every 30 minutes is another stage show. The country’s largest light show — 4 p.m. to 10 p.m. till Jan. 8 — is tubing and sledding on an icy hill, a tram, make your own toy, shopping, hot cocoa, cold cocktails, train ride. Tickets $30. Upgrade for a VIP section. Pay on arrival or online.”
Citi Field’s in Queens but what’s the exact entry address?
Kotloski: “I really don’t know.”
MEANWHILE, politics is lousy with its Love Thy Neighbor spirit. As Republican Kevin McCarthy’s set for Speaker of the House, Louisiana conservative Steve Scalise looks to smack him down. Also, allegedly light on good will is George Santos who narrowly won Long Island’s 3rd Congressional District over great patriot and lover of America — Democrat Robert Zimmerman.
IN this week of thankfulness and kindness, let all here remember the Garden of Eden and Adam telling wife Eve: “Remember, hon, I wear the plants in this family.”
only in New York, kids, only in New York.
